(Sunday / 01:59)
It is easy to dream.
When you dream about something, it is so perfect and wonderful. Everything goes according to the plan you have in your head.
Then try making it real. Try telling people that you have a dream that is different from your peers. Some people are amazed but mostly, people think that it is silly and unrealistic. You start planning. You see all the beautiful things that awaits you but at the same time, you see why people are doubting your capability. Hiccups that were blinded by the dream. You start questioning yourself if this is really doable. What if the plan fail miserably?
That pretty much sums up my life right now. There is so much excitement and fear in executing this dream but I am not really to give it up yet despite of the amount of stress that had built up.
Honestly, if this fails, I don't know what I want for myself anymore.
I am not ready to share this dream publicly yet although I had already mention to a few people. Of course some people were in awed. Like I said, it was something different from the usual. But after the gasps and wow, people start doubting if this is possible. I have to say it was demoralizing when some of the closest people would not believe that I am even trying to make it happen.
It is hard to want to do something different from your peers. I actually have a few friends who are dreaming about things too but no, they are not doing it, because it feels risky and by walking away from the norm, they feel like they are losing out so much. At this age, most of my friends are focus completing their degree so as to get a job/ get a good paying job. That shit piece of paper is
that important here on the sunny island. In the future I see most of my friends working 10 to 6 on every weekdays and spending the rest of the time feeling stress. I could not explain it well but this is something I call "The Singaporean Illness".
And I do not want to ill.